Closet Covies – Mork Schofsma

Name: Mark Schaafsma

Nicknames: Schaafs, Mork Schofsma, Schaafs Marksma

First Played for the Club: 2008/09

Number of Matches: 95

Runs Scored: 1,548

Minutes Spent at the Crease: 130,472

Wickets Taken: 7

Current Role: Player Manager of Fifth Grade

Favourite Movie: Dirty Dancing

Schaafsma

Ricko: G’day Schaafs, thanks for agreeing to meet up. I must warn you I have plans in about 2 hours so let’s try to keep this a bit shorter than usual.

Schaafs: No promises.

Ricko: Thought as much. Well let’s start on a positive note and see how we go. 2012/13, round 10 vs Mac Uni at Longy. Talk me through it.

Schaafs: I uhh, remember it like it was yesterday. I think I came to the crease at 2 for not many. I umm wanted to be the rock that stabilised our innings. But wickets kept falling at the other end. I think we lost another 4 for 2. And I’d uhh, just had enough. I can’t really explain it but something snapped. I was tired of being the guy grinding away at one end whilst other blokes were batting so poorly at the other end. So ahh, 3 maximums and a handful of one bounce fours later and uhh I’m 86. We won by 10 or so runs and I know Schooner got a 5 fa but it’s hard to say I wasn’t the difference. Was a little hot that day though and we were in that horrible old gear that didn’t breathe. Didn’t really enjoy the day.

Ricko: Yes well… right. You’ve played with us for almost 10 years, is there anything you’d still like to achieve?

Schaafs: I have this uhh dream that one round we will have full availability throughout the club. Then there’s this recurring nightmare I have where umm every fifth grader pulls out on Saturday night.

Ricko: What about any personal goals?

Schaafs: I’d just like people to be available for a full season.

Ricko: Well, speaking of Fifth Grade. Moving from being skipper of 3s for the past handful of seasons, how are you finding the new role?

Schaafs: I really like that I uhh don’t have Second Grade stealing my players anymore.

Ricko: Well you did a great job for three straight years in a difficult time for the club, I don’t know how you did it.

Schaafs: I like to immerse myself in my dancing, it uhh… helps me relieve stress. And besides, my dancing group is fully committed, they would never pull out on me.

 

*alarm goes off*

 

Ricko: What’s that for?

Schaafs: Ahh that’s a reminder to do my shoulder exercises, Hoody’s idea.

Ricko: Well can it wait till we’re finished?

Schaafs: No sorry mate, have a strict routine I have to keep to.

Ricko: I really thi…

Schaafs: Won’t take a minute.

Ricko: Well can you at least put your shirt back on?

Schaafs: No can do ahh.. Jarrod, shirts are too restrictive and I need a full range of movement. Now if you’re done interrupting me I really must focus on my exercises. Thanks.

Ricko: Ok well, nice and quick please mate.

 

*1 hour and 15 minutes later*

 

Schaafs: Done, do you uhh have anymore questions Jarrod?

Ricko: … No mate… I think that’ll do me. I feel in need of a shower and besides, I’m now half an hour late. See you at training Schaafs. Thanks.

Schaafs: Yes Jarrod, I will ahh see you there.

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